
Our group, assigned to create an audio book, chose to weave three related stories into one. We used The Yellow Wallpaper (Charlotte Perkins Gilman, 1892) as the master recording, into which we spliced recordings of The Box Social (James Reaney, 1996) and The Story of an Hour (Kate Chopin; 1894). The heroine of The Yellow Wallpaper is a writer who, we imagined, could be the author of the other to stories. Her experiences and observations wove easily into the other two stories which deal with a similar theme: women whose lives are stifled and negatively impacted by men in their lives. Taken together, the three stories give a rich impression of how this oppression takes shape, and the different ways its impact is processed by and emerges through the women it affects. To emphasize this variation and layer we chose to have three different readers, one for each story.
I was assigned the reading of The Yellow Wallpaper. I knew, from my previous experience listening to Publivox works, that creating an audio recording of a text would bring about unexpected sensations and realizations. I had experienced in my comparative listening of the Sherlock Holmes tale A Scandal in Bohemia the impact a reader has on the interpretation, enjoyment, and understanding of the listener. If unmoored in the story—presenting it simply as words translated from written to aural, the story could feel stilted with the emotional stripped away. Too professional and polished and it could dehumanize the characters and center the reader. Read with empathy, enhanced by macro and micro understanding of the tale paired with an ability to read between the lines, and the story can really spark to life.
I got set up and ready to go, with a goal in mind—bring the story to life! Feel our characters experience and immerse yourself! All of this creative direction buzzing in my head left me unprepared for the physical challenge of performing the text! The constant need to clear the throat, swallow, or quench a sudden urgent need for water. The mind jumping and distracted by anachronistic and unrelated sounds—sirens, honking, dogs barking and neighbors stomping. More than once I found my mouth simply would not form the words distinctly—bumbling together and rounding out the sharp edges of that needed precise articulation. A woman of some standing in 1892 slurring her words? It can’t be. Despite reading ahead to anticipate the flow of a passage, I’d still find myself in funny little corners where the tone of a previous sentence simply did not neatly connect to the next. I became a bit obsessed with pausing and rerecording — my liberal use of “pause” leaving little blips all through the recording.
Even more surprising than the physical realties of audio book narration, however, was hearing what I had actually captured. When I recorded, I did what I could to immerse myself in the characters voice. She was writing in her diary, a setting where she would presumably be most expressive and safely house her true emotions. As I spoke into the microphone, I would lean into certain words with an image of our heroine writing and reliving what she described. Given that the story portrays her being isolated, with activities limited and monitored, she would need to have a bit of desperation. In the opening, that might take shape as her trying to make peace with the situation up, looking at it through the lens of her oppressor husband/doctor, until that façade begins to crack revealing an frantic delusion centered on restoring her own freedom and sense of agency. My idea was that I would set out almost too chipper and light at the beginning, as she tries to convince herself that all is fine—maybe with a few cracks of awareness that she chases away. As the story progressed I would become more frantic—speaking faster and louder with more emphasis on certain words. Our heroine ironically becomes more hysterical as she, in her own mind, becomes more in control. The issue is when I listened back is that what I had thought were emotional readings were actually mild mannered and distant. The distance between the voice in my head and the one in the recording was immense and surprising. Either my natural or conditioned tendency to softening my expressions interfered with what I had been trying to do artistically. But I’m not an actress—so how to render her story in “full color” without going off the rails into campy emoting? I muddled through—admitted to myself that some of it would likely be absurd, but noted this new realization of myself. Thanks to this experience I now wonder what people are hearing whenever I speak, because it clearly is not what I hear in my mind.
That distance between my internal and external expression of the story puts in relief the conscious structuring and perimeter of a story. Any hesitation or discrepancy in flow and emotion, and immersion is lost for the reader and the listener. I believe that there’s an authenticity that naturally occurs when we hear any story in our minds—as we absorb and activate it, weaving in our own voice and experiences. That is ours alone. Once we turn to share it out it necessarily cannot be the same, unless you are specifically skilled at the translation of the internal to the external. Overall, this experience has given me a greater appreciation for the artistic process behind acting. The ability to take someone else’s story, enhance it with your own internal understanding and reflect that back into the world is extraordinary. For me it is much more difficult than storytelling alone—which necessarily includes personal tailoring and adjustments for mood and audience—leeway in its telling. But to take the boundaries of a written piece and still pump it full of life and meaning, never changing a word, is a different talent all together.




